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Two months ago I was taking it easy, never really giving much thought about going into a relationship. I felt like it was still too soon to be in a relationship again even though it has been 15 months already. I felt that I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship again, not because I haven’t moved on from my last relationship, that ship has sailed a long time ago. LOL. I wasn’t ready because I felt like there are still a lot of things that I needed to do as a single guy, and I was really enjoying being single.

But boy was I wrong. I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship not because of the things that i wanted to do but because I just haven’t met the right guy. Well that changed two months ago, when I chanced upon this guy…

You see, this guy I thought was one of those pretentious guys in dating apps, who try to act wholesome, clean and say that they are not after the sex, that they are looking for a relationship but when you eventually meet them they behave otherwise and becomes another one night stand. So we started chatting and he totally cut me off once the conversation went on to the not wholesome kind. I was caught off guard when I read “a ok. Thanks for your time. Have a nice day.” I realized that he maybe different after all. So I changed approached and decided to really get o know this guy, which was not easy. You see, he was very reserved, refusing to share details about himself. fortunately for me, I was able to break through the barrier and got to know him better and we eventually decided to meet each other personally and the rest as they say is part of our history.

It felt like it was just yesterday and now we are already celebrating our two months of being committed to each other. We are only on our second month of knowing and being committed to each other but I feel like I have known him for a long time already. I guess that is just how one feels when you meet the right one. The one who you can read and can also read you. The one who makes you feel like you are the most special person in the world or the universe rather. LOL. The one who is willing to risk it all for you. The one who is willing to change and compromise for you. The one who see going through your life with.

You this guy is all that and more…

I have never been known to be one who writes legibly, so I make this blog post for you, Hon.

Dear Hon,

Thank you for coming into my life. Meeting you was one of the greatest blessings that I have received. I will forever be thankful for having you as my life partner.

Thank you for…

For making me so happy these past two months.

For all the sacrifices and all the risks that you took and will take for me and for our relationship.

For making me feel like the most important person in the world.

For letting me into your life.

For introducing me to your family and friends.

For waiting for me to get off from work for several hours even if you hate waiting.

For waiting for 5 hours even if you were not feeling well.

For all the hugs and the kisses.

For the box of chocolates you gave me when we first met.

For the simple yet sweet messages that you wrote me.

For checking up on me everyday.

For always wanting to be with me.

For being seloso.

For lending me your priced clothes.

For taking care of me when I was sick.

For trying to protect my feelings.

For your willingness to change.

For compromising.

For accepting me for who I am.

For everything that you will do for me and for our relationship.

and most of all…

THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME…

There are still a lot of things that I want to thank you but writing them would make this post a novel.

Wala nang atrasan. Wala nang bitawan. Mamahalin kita buong buhay ko… Hanggang tumanda na tayo at wala nang ngipin.

I look forward to spending life with you.

Sa asawa ko… Mahal na mahal kita.

Happy Second Monthsary.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Starting on a New Journey

The past 16 months have been a roller coaster ride. That roller coaster ride may have ended yesterday. After months of wondering around, it seems I may have found a new destination.

Time to leave the past behind and start on a new journey. 🙂

You’ll Be Okay

So I just recently discovered the beauty of the “Is There anybody Out There” album of A Geat Big World. I’m really loving this album. It is able to translate the feelings that I have been having lately. Also, the album is kind of a “Happy” album, not in the sense that the songs included in it are happy songs but more of the LGBT theme in some of the songs and also in a way that some of the songs are musical like in nature.

One of the songs I liked is You’ll Be Okay” because its very uplifting and that is what I need as of the moment.

“You’ll Be Okay”

You’ll be okay
You’ll be okay
The sun will rise
To better days

And change will come
It’s on it’s way
Just close your eyes
And let it rain

‘Cause you’re never alone
I will always be there
You just carry on
You will understand

You’ll be okay
You’ll be okay
Just look inside
You know the way

Let it go
Fly away
And say goodbye
To yesterday

‘Cause you’re never alone
And I will always be there
You just carry on
You will understand

And I will be strong
When love is gone
I’ll carry on…

You’ll be okay
You’ll be okay
The sun will rise
To better days

You’ll be okay
You’ll be okay
Just close your eyes
And let it rain

When you need it the most
And all you’ve got is a prayer
You must carry on
You will understand
You will understand
You will understand

You’ll be okay
You’ll be okay
You’ll be okay.

There are other songs in the album that are worth listening to but You’ll be okay is my song as of the moment. 🙂

The song in a way expresses how one person can rely on him/herself in order to feel/make things better. One does not have to rely on other people for help. One’s best support is one’s self.

I’ll Be Okay! 🙂

Stagnant

Its been months since I last posted something on this blog. I don’t know if its because I don’t have emotions or feelings that are worth expressing or if I just tend to ignore them.

The past few weeks have been okay… No outburst of emotions… It was calm… I think it was… I’m not really sure though. One thing I am sure though… I have been stagnant these past few weeks. I have not been doing anything. Yes, I go to work, I meet up with friends, I hook up, I watch movies and series, and I read. These things I have been doing, let us just say that these things did not make any difference.

I guess that is how I mourn. I don’t cry, I don’t do outburst, I don’t drink myself to sleep. I enjoy myself, I stagnate. Weird right?

Instead of doing things to improve myself, my situation, my life… I was  just living like a semi-robot or a semi zombie. I was living my life but I wasn’t really living life. There were some moments that I felt alive, that I felt happy but most of the time I was just going through with life like a robot. I work, I eat, I watch TV, I read, I sleep. Repeat…

Now, in a way, I think I am starting to realize how I have in a way wasted the past few weeks. The question is will I be able to do something about this realization?

I have been thinking lately and I was able to come up with things that I think I need to do or must do.

I have realized that my life is a mess, well not really a mess. That was just me being dramatic. It is not a mess but it is also not in order. So I need to clean up. I need to throw away my emotional garbage. I need to declutter my life.

First up for cleaning is the place where I live. It is in desperate need of cleaning. It is still livable but it’s not really clean. Things are all over the place. Dust is starting to form a layer all around the house. some parts that used to be white are not white anymore. I have been sick for the past three weeks and the place where I live may have contributed to it.

So that is the first on my things to do.

Once I am done with this, hopefully the rest will follow but first I have to determine what those things will be.

Niknik (Gnat) Buffet

After the amazing trip to San Vicente comes the aftermath of the vacation. A day after returning from Palawan insect bites courtesy of Niknik(Gnat) started to manifest on the different parts of my body namely the back, waist, legs and feet. It seems I was the main course of the Niknik buffet when I explores the long beach of San Vicente. The bites were so itchy that one would really find it difficult not to scratch, thus the bites become more swollen because of scratching.

Scratches developed in many of the insect bites because of the uncontrolabble desire to scratch them because of the itch. So I decided to have the bites checked to make sure that it is nothing serious. Thankfully it was nothing serious, so the doctor gave me some anti-histamine and an ointment to helpe with the itch and swelling.

For those who plan to go on vacation to San Vicente, dont be afraid of Niknik. You just have to come prepared when your exploring the beach especially in parts near the river. From what I read insect repellant with DEET will do or wear rash guard or any tight clothing that will cover your skin.

I also had the the discoloration in my finger checked. The diagnosis came as a huge surprise, I taught it was just a fungal infection. Unfortunately for me its a type of auto-immune skin disorder known as Vitiligo, wherein the immune system attacks the skin pigment cells thus portions of the skin loses their pigment. According to the doctor, it maybe genetic. Fortunately for me, mine is just starting and the skin is still trying to recover so I just have to help the skin recover.  I have to treat my affected hand as a baby. She also recommended that I use the same ointment for my rashes on the affected part of the skin for two weeks. Thus, I have to keep it moisturized and avoid strong liquid soaps. So no contact with laundry detergent and dishwashing liquid.

I guess I just have to buy gloves that I can use everytime I do the laundy and wash the dishes cause there is no way that I can avoid doing those things. If I wont do it then who would?

Thankfully, these skin conditions are not contagious and hopefully just temporary and will be gone ina few days the shortest or two weeks the longest.

Ursula Longbeach Travellers Inn

As I was preparing for my trip to San Vicente, I was looking for a place to stay. It was kind of difficult since there were very few accommodations with their respective reviews online. I was looking for a beachfront accommodation. There were only several available and Ursula Longbeach Travellers Inn was one of them and one of the cheaper ones. So I decided to book my two nights there.

  
   
 Upon my arrival, there was an event for a religious sect so there were lots of people in the resort. I reserved the cheaper kind of fan room. It includes a private bathroom, a fan and a bed with a mosquito net and a painting( pardon the messy room for I was not able to take a picture of the room before placing my things). I paid Php 900 per night inclusive of additional fees from Agoda.  I think you can also reserve the room at a cheaper rate by making reservations through the owner Ms Flor, you can contact her through (0999) 992 7724.

   

When I arrived my impression of the place was that its a bit remote. It located at the end of the road and at the southern end of Longbeach at  Sitio Pinagmangalukanq. On the right side of a resort is a vacant lot and several houses on the left side.

I immediately went to the beach after putting down my things to see the beach before the sun sets. And the beach was beautiful. You can only see the southern end of Longbeach from the resort.

   

  

  

  

I was still able to enjoy the scenery for around 30 minutes before the sun finally called it a day. There was even a cow roaming the beach freely. A sight I dont see in the city even in other beaches near Manila.

   
 
I went back to the resort as the sun sets and had a chat with my fellow guest as we observed how the religious sect party.  

Welcome to San Vicente, Palawan

I arrived at San Vicente at around 5 in the afternoon. I was monitoring iur travel via Google Maps when I noticed that we took a different route. I was surprised that from the highways we were going up the mountains and the roads became smaller until we were already using a road trail. Eventually the road became paved again as we go down the mounta Instead of going straight to the Poblacion of San Vicente the van went up to the mountain in ordet to reach the other end of Longbeach, which is the Alimanguan Beach.

Mode of transportaion is mostly by motorcycle or Habal Habal though there are also tricycles one can use to go around Poblacion. 

Vans from Puerto Prinsesa can drop you off yo your exact destination depending on your arrangement with the driver. In my case, the owner of the resort aside from making my reservation for a seat in the also arranged that they drop me off in Ursula instead of the Van terminal in Poblacion. Thus I almost toured the whole Poblacion since the dropped of their passengers in their exact destinations. I wanted to take some photos, however my position in the middle of the van prevents me from doing so. I would’ve gaken photos if I occupied one of the window seats.

As we were driving around San Vicente, I notice that not all roads are paved and that many are still being paved. We passed by many ricefields each having their own carabao. In one look you’ll be able to see several carabaos. This has got the be the most number of carabaos Ive seen in one day.

I finally arrived at around 5:30 PM in Ursula Longbeach Travellers Inn, my home for the next two days.

  

San Vicente Bound

Left work at around 12 noon and took a tricycle ride to San Jose Terminal to catch the van going to San Vicente Palawan. Tried to get a ride frommthe tricycle outside the hotel but they were charging me Php 100. So I decided to just flag the first empty tricycle to come my way. Paid PHP 70 for a 5km ride going to the terminal. I think this is a bit overpriced since a regular ride would cost Php 40-50 only but since the terminal is quite far I decided not to argue about the fare. 

Upon reaching San Jose terminal which is still unpaved, I immediately spotted the van that I was supposed to ride and there were several passengers already. Good thing I made reservations with the resort Im staying in. The resort owner has a relative who drives the van from Puerto Prinsesa to San Vicente and visr versa. If I hadnt I wouldve waited for the next van to be filled. I went to Saviour Terminal to ride the Ebno van to San Vicente.

When I saw the van I noticed that it was a bit shabby like the old FX in Manila where there are almost no foam on the seats and you can already feel the frame of the seats on your back and butt. I also noticed that the van has no airconditioning, which is totally okay with me since I know air here is still relatively fresh and that traffic wont be a concern. Some of the rows were occupied by four passengers. Its a good thing that were only three of us in our row. Otherwise it wouldve been avery uncomfortable ride.

  
They placed my luggage near the baggages of the other passengers. I was a bit worried that my luggage might be left behind so I was constantly looking at it to make sure that the place it in the van. When i cant see it anymore I assumed that it was tucked already somewhere in the van. 

As the van was about to leave I took another glimpse as we passed by the baggage area. Good thing that I immediately saw that my luggage is still there. So I told the driver that my luggage was left behind. 

Good thing that I noticed otherwise I have no idea how I can retrieve my luggage if I already arrived in San Vicente and only then did I find out that it was left behind.

We left the terminal at around 1:30 PM. Timento relax and enjoy the scenery on our way to San Vicente. Hopefully we will arrive in San Vicente at around 5:30 PM.

Are You Really Ready for Forever?

When you feel that you have more or less recovered from the break-up, you would say to yourself that you will not enter into a relationship any time soon. You will enjoy being single and just mingle with other people, talk to people, meet new friends, hook up and do other things that single people do.

And so that is what you did. In the past few week you exchange messages with people and sometime meet with them and hook up. You were definitely enjoying being single.

But there will really come a time when you will think that you are happy with what you are doing. But you would feel and think the opposite that all you have been doing is trying to convince yourself that you are happy. It is during such moments when you miss being in a relationship. The feeling of certainty that you have that special someone who has your back. Someone you’ll go home to, your constant companion. Someone to kiss, hug, play around with and someone to make love to.

So there are times when you encounter somebody new who you find attractive physically, mentally and emotionally. You suddenly have the feeling that he could be the one to fill the void. So hope starts to grow in you and then just like before that person isnt what you hoped and is just another random encounter that was not meant to last.

It is during these moments that you might commit a grave mistake in your life, the mistake of entering into another relationship too soon. A mistake that instead of healing your wound would further worsen it. 

During such moments you better stop and think. Yes there are times when you will feel unhappy and lonely when you are single. It does not mean that being in a relationship would take care of the sadness and the loneliness. Keep in mind that you played a part in the demise of your previous relationship. There are also things that you must fix and must realize so that the next time you enter in a relationship, it will be better and you will definitely be ready for forever.

So when you feel like rushing into a new relationship. Ask yourself, are you really ready? Are you a better person? Can you make it work? Are you ready to fully commit yourself to just this one person? 

Are you really ready for your forever?

If you can proudly say yes to these questions then go ahead and be with your forever.

Otherwise stop and continue with the difficult process called Moving On…

Continue fixing yourself so that when the time comes and forever arrives you can proudly face that person knowing that you are ready and that you are indeed a Better Man worthy for that person’s forever.

Nervously Excited

Tomorrow I travel to Palawan for work and some RnR during the weekend.

I was deciding between on being adventurous and explore San Vicente Palawan, one of the underdeveloped tourist destination in Palawan or be on the safe side and go back to El Nido, where I’ve been several times already.

This morning I was finally able to decide where to go. The seldom dominant adventurous side of me was able to prevail with the help of my ever cautious pocket. lol. I wanted to discover the undeveloped part of Palawan and the county’s longest shoreline, the Long Beach of San Vicente before civilization takes over in a few years. Aside from that going to San Vicente is relatively cheaper than going to El Nido where accommodation also costs twice as much as those in San Vicente.

This will be my first vacation alone and in an unfamiliar place. So I’m quite nervous and excited at the same time. Nervous, because I don’t know what will happen to me there. Will I be able to enjoy the trip alone? Will I be safe? Can my pocket survive the trip? What what will I do during my three-day stay in San Vicente?

I am also excited to discover the beauty and the hidden treasure of San Vicente, the beauty of its long beach, wildlife. I’m excited to unwind and leave the stress of work and the city behind for a few days. Im also looking forward being alone, thinking of the situation I’m currently in, the future and what I intend to with my life.

Palawan here I come!

I hope I survive the experience.